So, I've been drowning for a couple of years now. Life is super busy when you have two little guys. They are absolute joys, but boy can they keep me on my toes! "On my toes" is not somewhere that I am comfortable. I love routine. I don't love change. I am an introvert so all of the talking (and hostage negotiations) just wear my out. Jordan has a few special struggles that we work through. I feel like I thriving right now. But it's taking me every second of my day and every ounce of energy I have. Sometimes at the beginning of the day, I think about all the hours and tasks left and thing, "How am I going to do this?" And most days at the end of the day, I think about all of the hours and tasks completed and all of the surprises and fits and fights and mashed fingers and hurt feelings...and I think "How did I do that?" The answer is simple: It's all God's grace. Seriously. He is so good to me and to my kids to give us everything we need.
So an update on where the boys are...
Jordan is almost 5 (what????). He is in Pre-K and is loving it. And I love watching him learn. I am so grateful that we are doing school at home because I get sad thinking about all of the growth I see, even from day to day...I would miss that! School at home is great for his needs. We break it into 4-5 ten to fifteen minute segments in the day...(Reading aloud, hand-writing, art, Bible time, and his favorite...ABC Mouse on the computer). I structure those segments around things that help him meet his sensory and routine needs (gym, time with friends, playing at the park, free time alone, swinging on the tree branches in the back yard...and gymnastics!). Every day is a little different but we kick off the day every morning by watching the morning news together, eating breakfast and making our to-do list. He needs to know that to expect and the day is so much smoother with it!
He is a smart kid. I know everyone says that, but he is so observant and remembers everything. He tells me things all of the time that shock me. I feel like it's a big practical joke...that Blake tells Jordan things that happened from his baby days and he repeats. But nope. Not a joke. He remembers...or at least remembers the stories. So, needless to say, if he can focus, he excels at learning. For example: it was Halloween time and the word BOO was everywhere. He asked what it said and I showed him B + OO...and then he saw ZOO a few days later and read it. His brain is so amazing. It's a privilege to spend time with him every day.
Marcus is two (what???). He is about the easiest, sweetest two year old I know. He is so sweet. He talks all day. He does everything Jordan does. I love hearing his language develop. It is so much earlier than Jordan did. And he is smart, too! Today, I heard him count to ten. I know he doesn't understand the concept of numbers, but he hears it enough during the day so he's memorized it. I'm sure he will learn so much from hanging around while we do school.
The funniest thing about Marcus is that he is gigantic...and barely two! So, he talks like a caveman. And looks like a three year old. People ask him questions and he says one word or just stares. And I explain, "He just turned two. He's a giant!" Another great thing about Marcus is his obsession with his OU had. He wears it every day. Every day. Sometimes he sleeps in it. If we're not leaving the house, he puts it on. It's so cute and so funny. He is a bright spot in our days every day. No one loves people like Marcus does. He's a precious gift.
So, one last update and maybe I'll blog sometime before a year and a half passes by! The entire time when Marcus was a baby, we knew we wanted to adopt again. So after last Christmas, we started the paperwork. We've gotten all the way through the paperwork and are officially a "waiting family". However, something has changed in our hearts. We both feel God telling us that now is not the time. For me, that means I need to make my peace with just having two children. (JUST is a funny word considering there were years that I pleaded with God to give me JUST one!). We both wanted more than two, but we are drowning. We are drowning financially, which is not a big deal. But add that to the business of life and the amount of effort and time we give to Jordan...and yes, I'm drowning. We adopted him and that means we give him our best. And adding another kid would not allow us to give him our best.
One week ago, we suspended our adoption. It was sad, but filled with so much peace. It wasn't a decision we took lightly, but we know it's right. I feel like without the stress and pressure of knowing we could get "the call" any day, I can give even more of myself to these precious boys who are a gift. I don't understand why God would lead us towards adoption and then tell us to stop, but trusting and obeying has brought peace. So here we are. A family of four and very happy about it.
So an update on where the boys are...
Jordan is almost 5 (what????). He is in Pre-K and is loving it. And I love watching him learn. I am so grateful that we are doing school at home because I get sad thinking about all of the growth I see, even from day to day...I would miss that! School at home is great for his needs. We break it into 4-5 ten to fifteen minute segments in the day...(Reading aloud, hand-writing, art, Bible time, and his favorite...ABC Mouse on the computer). I structure those segments around things that help him meet his sensory and routine needs (gym, time with friends, playing at the park, free time alone, swinging on the tree branches in the back yard...and gymnastics!). Every day is a little different but we kick off the day every morning by watching the morning news together, eating breakfast and making our to-do list. He needs to know that to expect and the day is so much smoother with it!
He is a smart kid. I know everyone says that, but he is so observant and remembers everything. He tells me things all of the time that shock me. I feel like it's a big practical joke...that Blake tells Jordan things that happened from his baby days and he repeats. But nope. Not a joke. He remembers...or at least remembers the stories. So, needless to say, if he can focus, he excels at learning. For example: it was Halloween time and the word BOO was everywhere. He asked what it said and I showed him B + OO...and then he saw ZOO a few days later and read it. His brain is so amazing. It's a privilege to spend time with him every day.
Marcus is two (what???). He is about the easiest, sweetest two year old I know. He is so sweet. He talks all day. He does everything Jordan does. I love hearing his language develop. It is so much earlier than Jordan did. And he is smart, too! Today, I heard him count to ten. I know he doesn't understand the concept of numbers, but he hears it enough during the day so he's memorized it. I'm sure he will learn so much from hanging around while we do school.
The funniest thing about Marcus is that he is gigantic...and barely two! So, he talks like a caveman. And looks like a three year old. People ask him questions and he says one word or just stares. And I explain, "He just turned two. He's a giant!" Another great thing about Marcus is his obsession with his OU had. He wears it every day. Every day. Sometimes he sleeps in it. If we're not leaving the house, he puts it on. It's so cute and so funny. He is a bright spot in our days every day. No one loves people like Marcus does. He's a precious gift.
So, one last update and maybe I'll blog sometime before a year and a half passes by! The entire time when Marcus was a baby, we knew we wanted to adopt again. So after last Christmas, we started the paperwork. We've gotten all the way through the paperwork and are officially a "waiting family". However, something has changed in our hearts. We both feel God telling us that now is not the time. For me, that means I need to make my peace with just having two children. (JUST is a funny word considering there were years that I pleaded with God to give me JUST one!). We both wanted more than two, but we are drowning. We are drowning financially, which is not a big deal. But add that to the business of life and the amount of effort and time we give to Jordan...and yes, I'm drowning. We adopted him and that means we give him our best. And adding another kid would not allow us to give him our best.
One week ago, we suspended our adoption. It was sad, but filled with so much peace. It wasn't a decision we took lightly, but we know it's right. I feel like without the stress and pressure of knowing we could get "the call" any day, I can give even more of myself to these precious boys who are a gift. I don't understand why God would lead us towards adoption and then tell us to stop, but trusting and obeying has brought peace. So here we are. A family of four and very happy about it.
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