Wow! I'm so exhausted!
Blake is in Idaho this week on a mission trip...of course the week we're moving! =) But, it's been good, solid manual labor for me this week! I've basically moved over everything I can lift and did some yard work (on my own!). I was super proud of myself for mowing and weed-whacking even though it took several calls to my dad for instructions on how to operate the machinery!
Blake flies in at noon on Saturday and we'll be moving the furniture later that afternoon. The nice thing is that the kitchen is unpacked and I've been able to get so much done this week!
Tomorrow's task: installing blinds. Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Moving Across Town
God has really provided for us in a crazy way, because we are working on moving into a house! We had just planned on living in a two bedroom apartment, but God has other plans. Our friends who live in North Africa have decided to purchase a house and rent it to us for a really good price. It's really close to campus and we are really excited to live there! It's definetly going to be a change from our little one bedroom. I'm in the process of cleaning it right now which is quite a task since it's been empty for a while. But hopefully, by the end of next week, we can start moving furniture over. It should be exciting and the best part is we can have more people come over! We even have a guest room/Abby's room!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
What I Learned (The Hard Stuff)
"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein, for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers. Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. He will receive blessing from the Lord and righteousness from the God of his salvation. Such is the generation of those who seek him, who seek the face of the God of Jacob."
A precious Haitian brother in Christ named William shared this passage of Scripture with us on our last night in Haiti and it put the final blow into what God wanted to show me while I was there.
Going into the trip, I knew there was an issue that God needed to work on and that was my lack of compassion. I can trace this lack of compassion to living in third world countries and to my "pull yourself by the bootstraps" American-ness. You just get so used to seeing needs and not being able to do anything about them, but that does not excuse my hard heart. For about a year, I knew that this was a sin issue, but in order to have compassion, you have to have your heart broken, which is painful. I had a feeling that seeing post-earthquake Haiti would push me toward this, but honestly, I was resistant all trip. It's easier for me to take pictures, crack jokes, or pour myself into the work or serving my teammates than to really feel compassion for people who have needs. That's exactly what I did all week.
What I didn't expect was that God would break my heart and expose some ugly sin at the same time. It turns out that I have been allowing "stuff" to invade my heart. Unfortunately, I was blind to that because I was so busy applauding myself for being so sacrificial by not having cable or by living in a one-bedroom apartment.
Like I said before, I spent all week avoiding the issue. I hid behind my camera all week instead of really pouring my heart into what was going on around me. On the last afternoon, we took a drive through downtown Port-au-Prince, which is where most of the earthquake devastation occurred. It was amazing to see the destroyed buildings everywhere, a year and a half later! There were people everywhere and we drove by enormous tent communities. But I still wouldn't engage my heart in what was around me. I was snapping pictures and taking video and ignoring the Holy Spirit.
I clearly heard the Lord tell me to put my camera down and look. So, I did. Then, He told me to look for women my age that I could identify with. Even with my heart clearly hearing the Lord's voice, I was still resisting. I would see a woman and pass her off as too old or too young, or I would find some reason not to identify with her.
Then I saw a woman from behind. It was just a split second, but that image is burned in my brain. I have no idea how old this woman was or what she looked like, but there were people walking all around her and she was sitting with her back to me, washing her clothes in the gutter which was full of garbage and who knows what else. God reminded me of how often I have complained about how slow my dryer works. I felt very convicted, but a part of me was still resisting the voice of the Lord.
Right after that, we came to a stop next to a bus full of people. They were so crammed in that there was about ten people at exactly at our level who were facing our bus. They were staring at us and at that moment I saw myself through their eyes. I couldn't even look at them, I was so ashamed. God started listing the things that were in my backpack. My chapstick (which I consider a necessary item) costs more than they make in one day. I paid money for a poncho to keep the rain off of me. I spent more money on hand sanitizer than they spend on food for a week. There I was, freshly showered (with a flower in my hair that Larry had picked for all the girls) on my own seat on a bus with a backpack full of luxury items. I couldn't look back, I was so convicted about my ingratitude and unworthiness. I looked away, but I could still see them staring at me. For a good minute, they were right there and I couldn't look at them. God was bringing to mind all kinds of things that I had spent time worrying about. He reminded me of a night a few weeks before where I was worrying about how I was going to make the three
I spent most of the afternoon trying to process what the Lord had shown me. Then that night, several Haitian brothers and sisters came over and we had some time to worship. William shared Psalm 24 with us and then told us that he would be praying for us because we were about to go back to a country where we have alot of stuff. He reminded us that it is harder to stay connected to Jesus when we have stuff. The conviction of that statement was absolutely humbling. I had prayed for the Haitian people that they would have more things, and they recognize that having things is a barrier in our relationship with the Lord. Wow! What wisdom to have and what simplicity. It just showed me that I don't need anything but Christ to have joy. It was a very special time to worship with them and allow the Spirit just to reveal all of the earthly things that I have made my idols.
I'm now trying to process and deal with what the Lord shown me. The easy thing to do would be to sell everything I own and move to Haiti. But the Lord wants me to learn how to live a simple life of gratitude in this culture, which is so burdened by materialism. How do I do that?
The song "Ruin Me" by Jeff Johnson is a song that has spoken to me before, but as I've been processing what God has done in my heart, it is a song that has readily come to mind. God answered my prayers in a way that I did not expect. He has ruined my life and my plans and He used Haiti to do that. He used the people in Haiti to break my heart. I have never been so humbled by seeing faith in action, then with seeing their relationships with the Lord. My heart is deceitfully wicked but God is so faithful. I allowed things into my heart that became idols and instead of leaving me where I was, God used Haiti to show me the ugly things in my heart. And then He showed me His holiness, His mercy, His glory, and His great love for us.
A precious Haitian brother in Christ named William shared this passage of Scripture with us on our last night in Haiti and it put the final blow into what God wanted to show me while I was there.
Going into the trip, I knew there was an issue that God needed to work on and that was my lack of compassion. I can trace this lack of compassion to living in third world countries and to my "pull yourself by the bootstraps" American-ness. You just get so used to seeing needs and not being able to do anything about them, but that does not excuse my hard heart. For about a year, I knew that this was a sin issue, but in order to have compassion, you have to have your heart broken, which is painful. I had a feeling that seeing post-earthquake Haiti would push me toward this, but honestly, I was resistant all trip. It's easier for me to take pictures, crack jokes, or pour myself into the work or serving my teammates than to really feel compassion for people who have needs. That's exactly what I did all week.
What I didn't expect was that God would break my heart and expose some ugly sin at the same time. It turns out that I have been allowing "stuff" to invade my heart. Unfortunately, I was blind to that because I was so busy applauding myself for being so sacrificial by not having cable or by living in a one-bedroom apartment.
Like I said before, I spent all week avoiding the issue. I hid behind my camera all week instead of really pouring my heart into what was going on around me. On the last afternoon, we took a drive through downtown Port-au-Prince, which is where most of the earthquake devastation occurred. It was amazing to see the destroyed buildings everywhere, a year and a half later! There were people everywhere and we drove by enormous tent communities. But I still wouldn't engage my heart in what was around me. I was snapping pictures and taking video and ignoring the Holy Spirit.
I clearly heard the Lord tell me to put my camera down and look. So, I did. Then, He told me to look for women my age that I could identify with. Even with my heart clearly hearing the Lord's voice, I was still resisting. I would see a woman and pass her off as too old or too young, or I would find some reason not to identify with her.
Then I saw a woman from behind. It was just a split second, but that image is burned in my brain. I have no idea how old this woman was or what she looked like, but there were people walking all around her and she was sitting with her back to me, washing her clothes in the gutter which was full of garbage and who knows what else. God reminded me of how often I have complained about how slow my dryer works. I felt very convicted, but a part of me was still resisting the voice of the Lord.
Right after that, we came to a stop next to a bus full of people. They were so crammed in that there was about ten people at exactly at our level who were facing our bus. They were staring at us and at that moment I saw myself through their eyes. I couldn't even look at them, I was so ashamed. God started listing the things that were in my backpack. My chapstick (which I consider a necessary item) costs more than they make in one day. I paid money for a poncho to keep the rain off of me. I spent more money on hand sanitizer than they spend on food for a week. There I was, freshly showered (with a flower in my hair that Larry had picked for all the girls) on my own seat on a bus with a backpack full of luxury items. I couldn't look back, I was so convicted about my ingratitude and unworthiness. I looked away, but I could still see them staring at me. For a good minute, they were right there and I couldn't look at them. God was bringing to mind all kinds of things that I had spent time worrying about. He reminded me of a night a few weeks before where I was worrying about how I was going to make the three
bedroom house we are getting to move into look good with our apartment furniture. The audacity of me wasting time on that thought pierced my heart. I am moving into a home with three rooms for two people (and a future baby if the Lord wills) and I completely ignored the blessings God had lavished on me to waste my time worrying about something so trivial. . The conviction weighed heavily and I still cannot get the image of those people staring at me out of my mind.
I spent most of the afternoon trying to process what the Lord had shown me. Then that night, several Haitian brothers and sisters came over and we had some time to worship. William shared Psalm 24 with us and then told us that he would be praying for us because we were about to go back to a country where we have alot of stuff. He reminded us that it is harder to stay connected to Jesus when we have stuff. The conviction of that statement was absolutely humbling. I had prayed for the Haitian people that they would have more things, and they recognize that having things is a barrier in our relationship with the Lord. Wow! What wisdom to have and what simplicity. It just showed me that I don't need anything but Christ to have joy. It was a very special time to worship with them and allow the Spirit just to reveal all of the earthly things that I have made my idols.
I'm now trying to process and deal with what the Lord shown me. The easy thing to do would be to sell everything I own and move to Haiti. But the Lord wants me to learn how to live a simple life of gratitude in this culture, which is so burdened by materialism. How do I do that?
The song "Ruin Me" by Jeff Johnson is a song that has spoken to me before, but as I've been processing what God has done in my heart, it is a song that has readily come to mind. God answered my prayers in a way that I did not expect. He has ruined my life and my plans and He used Haiti to do that. He used the people in Haiti to break my heart. I have never been so humbled by seeing faith in action, then with seeing their relationships with the Lord. My heart is deceitfully wicked but God is so faithful. I allowed things into my heart that became idols and instead of leaving me where I was, God used Haiti to show me the ugly things in my heart. And then He showed me His holiness, His mercy, His glory, and His great love for us.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I've Got The Joy Down In My Heart!
One of the most convicting things about Haiti was to see how much joy the Haitian believers have in their hearts. And by contrast, how little joy I have in my heart. One day I was doing the dishes with some of the ladies who cooked meals for us and they were all singing and dancing to the radio. It just made me think about how I do the dishes. I'm usually grumbling and thinking about how fast I can get it done so I can get on to something else. I totally miss out on that time, when I could be praying and worshipping! Not to mention, thanking God for the dishes, the food, and the water I'm washing with!
I think the 
biggest difference I saw between Haiti and the U.S. is how we view our jobs. To us, jobs are just what you have to do so you can get to what you enjoy. But there, they rejoiced to have their jobs and they poured themselves into them. They made their jobs fun! I just thought about all of the wasted time I spent complaining about jobs, and completely missing in the joy of God's provision.
biggest difference I saw between Haiti and the U.S. is how we view our jobs. To us, jobs are just what you have to do so you can get to what you enjoy. But there, they rejoiced to have their jobs and they poured themselves into them. They made their jobs fun! I just thought about all of the wasted time I spent complaining about jobs, and completely missing in the joy of God's provision.So, one of the lessons I learned from Haiti is how simple life should be. You don't need much to survive and to be thankful. I have an over-abundance of "stuff" and yet I still miss the blessings God has given me.
The pictures I am attaching of our morning "Sing & Shout & Jump About" time where all the workers gather to worship the Lord before worshipping Him through their hard work!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
This Trip Requires More Than One Post!
I will have to write several posts to really explain how the trip to Haiti was. We left Saturday, June 25th and came back this past Saturday night. I still feel tired, but it's hard to tell if that is just my age!
I guess this post will just be the details of what we did and in future ones I will try to explain what God did in my heart this week.
So, we're on the first flight out of OKC and I'm looking out the window before we take off and I see my bag coming of the plane and going onto a cart and driving away. My first thought was, well this trip is going to be about my "stuff". More on that on another post! (The pictures if 
Laurel and I after we got to Haiti and realized that she had no bag either - there were also two others without bags).
Laurel and I after we got to Haiti and realized that she had no bag either - there were also two others without bags).The compoud we stayed at happened to be across the street from the Pakistani UN compound so I got to hear the call to prayer every day. Go figure!
On Sunday we went to church and then to the beach. (See pictures from the beach). Monday through Friday were work days and then Friday afternoon we took a tour of downtown Port-au-Prince which took the biggest hit from the earthquake. I will write several posts to describe more about these experiences.
My overall experience in Haiti was so fabulous. The people are wonderful and it was a joy to meet other believers and humbling to work alongside them. I learned alot about joy and gratitude from them!
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