Saturday, April 16, 2011

Time Wanted/Blessings

I'm quitting my job on June 17th! I'm so excited to have more time to spend with people and not working. God has blessed me with this opportunity. Hopefully I will be able blog more too! I have more pictures from our trip, but I wanted to share this song that has been speaking to me lately. We are approaching a year of trying to have children with no results. It's been a mark that I've been fearful of, but God has given me peace (and for the most part I receive it!). But frankly, sometimes I feel very sad and frustrated. I know He gave us the desire to start a family and the longer I wait, the more I'm ready. It's hard to trust that the God who gave us this desire has the perfect family planned for us. Hebrews 12 reminds me that as my Father, He wants the best and maybe what I want the most is not His plan. I feel confident that He will provide in His time and I look forward to that day. Until then, I just ask for continued prayers for us. First, for my heart. Please pray that I won't doubt God's goodness and love. I've been growing so much but I still face so many doubts and fears. Sometimes I give into the lies that I don't deserve children or even worse, that God is not as good towards me as He is towards others. I know these are lies, and I don't want to succumb to them. I also ask you to pray for wisdom for us. We know that God could provide through adoption and we are willing and hopeful to pursue it. But, please just pray that we will be patient and pursue His timing for us. I don't want you all to think that I'm sad all of the time or dealing with this constantly. It's a battle I've been fighting and through the Lord's strength, I have joy and peace most of the time. I've come to see that He is always offering peace to me, I just need to learn to accept it. Thank you for your prayers. I cannot wait until the day that we all rejoice when we see how God has provided for our family!

No comments:

Post a Comment