Tomorrow it will be 9 months since we came back from Morocco. I cannot believe it's been so long. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and sometimes it seems like forever. This Sunday, our pastor gave his "State of the Church" message, but this time he requested that we share with him ways we have grown over the past year. Blake and I laughed afterwards that it would be virtually impossible to list it because it has been one of the most difficult yet wonderful years of our lives. Here are some of the things I've learned:
**God is in control. Sometimes this past year we felt completely out of control. We had a few days to pack up our lives in Morocco and move back to Oklahoma. We had no idea how to cope with this. Blake was dealing with anxiety; I was trying to figure things out. But God completely took care of us. He has very clearly guided us to where we are. I'm still learning this lesson. We've been trying to have a baby for the past nine months and we've seen friend after friend announce their pregnancies and have their babies. This is the ultimate out-of-control thing I've faced. There is absolutely nothing I can do to make this happen on my own. But God is so faithful and I'm learning how to wait for Him. I know I will be a mom some day. It's up to Him to choose the time.
**We still want to be a part of what's going on overseas. God has clearly shown us that this is what we should pursue. While this is not the time for us to go, He has graciously given us opportunities at our church here in Norman to serve in this area.
**My priorities in life are completely different than before I went to Morocco. Career, cars, owning a home, being stable...those were all things that God completely removed from my desires. It took quite a fire, but He's leading us to live in an apartment and live on a bare budget so we can give as much as we can away. I don't say this out of arrogance, but out of gratefulness that He has given me new desires.
**My years-long interest in pro-life will soon be put to use. For many years, I've wanted to be involved in this issue, but have never had a viable chance. Especially since I want to be overseas again, I've never considered that the two could come together. But through the past month, He has given me a peace about getting invovled in the local pro-life ministries with the intention of learning as much as I can so I can be used by God overseas. Did you know in Russia there are 4.3 abortions for every life birth? Crazy. Those are broken, hurting women over there and maybe some day God can use me there or somewhere else to share the gospel through pro-life work.
I don't want to sound arrogant, but I want to testify to God's goodness in my life. The extreme difficulties of the past year (and the current ones with trying to get pregnant) all serve a purpose, His. Lord, help me to embrace the trials and praise you regardless of my circumstances!
Thanks for writing this post! Your testimony encourages me. Love you so much, Carol Ann!
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