Weariness

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

I've known that verse since I was a child.  But it never fully made sense to me.  You know how it is when you're a kid...you never really get tired.  You don't sleep unless you have too and a full day at Chucky Cheese sounds like the best day ever!  Somewhere before 29, things changed.  We went and played ski ball for an hour the other evening and my back was sore for hours!

I never really understood what it was like to be burdened either.  Even after I was married, I still believed that people could just choose to have kids whenever they wanted.  I didn't know anyone with cancer or who had parents pass away.  The most stressful part of my day was rush hour traffic.  Getting home a little after 5 pm seemed like I had a full schedule with no time for myself.

Well, when Blake was in Haiti I was reading a book called "Desperate" which is a book written by moms for moms.  There was a chapter about weariness, and I felt like it was so speaking to me.  Sure, I was physically tired, but there was a lot of other issues going on too, and I was so grateful to be reminded that 1) I was not the only one feeling weary and 2) Jesus promises rest.  Now, the rest Jesus talks about isn't necessarily physical or immediate relief from a physical ailment.  It is the rest of knowing that He knows all of the big and small issues that weigh on me daily.  It is the rest that He cares about the sparrows, so of course He cares that we are clothed and fed daily.  It is the rest that He is in control of situations that seem so dire and desperate, both in my life and around the world.  It is the rest that He gives me strength to run the race and rewards me at the end for persevering.

Here are some of the things that have made me weary and burdened:

*Balancing school, motherhood, housework, cooking, church, friends, and whatever else is thrown my way.

*Speaking of motherhood...having to rinse my child off in the sink after every meal and spend the entire meal sharing my own food with him (even though we are eating the same thing!).

*Also in the arena of motherhood...trying to be calm and patient when the fits come.  Yep, the two's are coming! 

*Having to plan a playdate around my friend's chemo schedule.  And daily bearing the burden that my friend is suffering and battling her way through a cancer diagnosis.

*Watching people I love make terrible choices.

*Trying to battle indifference towards God's Word.

*Having a car that is beginning to fall apart and at the same time trying to pay off medical bills.  With earthly eyes, there is no way we're getting out of this hole!

All of these things are weighing on me.  They are burdening me.  They make me weary.

But, as Jesus promises, He does not leave us or forsake us.  He is walking through these days with me.  He has a plan for us that may never include wealth, but will always include joy.

Here are some of the ways He has given us rest - just some of many!:

*He provides friends who I can share life with.  Getting together with them and discussing the stresses of life and knowing that I am not alone is so comforting.  Some have toddlers and some have had toddlers.  All are a great encouragement to me!

*My little guy can throw some big time tantrums...but makes me laugh out loud all of the time.  There is nothing like having toddler arms squeezing your neck and having toddler lips giving you sloppy kisses!

*God still provides things that allow me to make my house pretty and to wear that don't have holes in them!

*And the most recent blessing...a all-expense paid trip to North Carolina with my husband.  It was unexpected and wonderful.  I spent an entire morning by myself and I had the opportunity to sit on a bench, in the woods, by a brook...and just soak in God's Word.  It was refreshing and renewing to be around other Believers and friends who I haven't seen in years!  It was refreshing to sleep at nights and have time to go on a three mile hike with my man. 

God knows what we need and has ways of providing that we often do not see coming.  He is good and faithful.  He promised rest and He gives it.  It won't always be a free trip alone with my husband...but if I look for it, He is giving me rest every day!

Whaaa???

That's what Jordan says all the time, while holding his hands out to his side.  It's so stinkin' cute.  He also holds them up when you ask a question.  I love watching our little due learn.

His newest word is "Choo choo". He says it for trains and planes.

Our neighborhood is hopping again!  OU starts back today (boo for me!) so all of the students are back.  I love fall 'round here.  Every afternoon the OU marching band practices within earshot.  I start dreaming of cooler weather and all of my jackets and sweaters that have been boxed up for months.  And, of course, praying that we will be able to adopt again soon.  A fall baby sounds fun!

Fishin'

Jordan got to go fishing with his dad, grandfather, and great-grandfather.  What a lucky little man!  He caught two of the three fish.  Literally, he was the one holding the pole when the fish jumped on.  He's got the gift!

It's Grandparent Time!

Jordan is almost 18 months old and FINALLY got to meet his grandparents.  My mom and dad work in North Africa and haven't been able to come visit since he was born.  We've all been looking forward to their vacation and are really having a blast and we have two whole weeks left! 

 

My Dad's highlight was taking his grandson to a Ranger's game.  Happy, happy, happy!

 

 

 

My Mom is just enjoying snuggle time and reading time.

 

We have done so much since they came...the zoo, Rhythm Babies, the splash pad, the playground, and so much more.  But we're enjoying even just hanging out at home.  Jordan is at a great age for getting to know them!

Home Alone-ish

Blake got home last night from Haiti!  He went to  help run six days of medical clinics in six different locations.  I don't know all of the statistics, but I know they saw a LOT of people!  He spent a few months prior to his trip preparing by trying to learn as much creole as he could.  It paid off, at least a little, because he spent six days triaging the people who came to the clinic.  He quickly learned "infection", "cough", and "fever".  He achieved about a 50% success rate at getting the right information on the forms, which is pretty impressive to me!  I think he had a good time and I am positive that he is glad to be home with us!

Speaking of us, we are very happy to have Dad home.  You forget how helpful husbands are until they aren't around.  I will wait at least a week or two to start nagging Blake again. ;) 

Last year when Blake went to Haiti, Jordan was four and a half months old.  It was kind of a nightmare week.  While he was gone, our car broken down.  And Jordan really had a rough time sleeping for the first year of his life.  By the time Blake got home, Jordan and I were both ready for the calm factor that Blake brings into our family!  Apparently, the two of us are pretty high-strung!

This year was so much easier.  It helps that he is sleeping better, but we are still happy to have the calm guy back with us again.  I had a couple of rough patches.  The first was my back.  I hurt it on Monday, but by the end of the week I felt back to normal.  The second was when my sweet little toddler starting throwing some MAJOR milk-related fits.  There's a big ole self-inflicted bruise on his head from yesterday's fit.  Nothing like loading up the car to go to church with a screaming coming from the house.  Happy, happy, happy!

I've been reading a book called "Desperate", which was written for moms.  It is such a refreshing book to read.  I've read books that kind of give you ideas and lists of things that are important to do with your child.  And, if you go on Pinterest, you are bombarded by things you should do to help your kids learn this or learn that.  It's all good, but sometimes it's overwhelming.  This book has been so nice because it talks about things like Mommy-guilt, sin, feeling weary...all things that tend to happen.  I usually cry when I read it because it brings me such relief to know that I am not the only one who forgets to brush my kid's seven teeth every night.  Or forget to pray before we eat.  Or sometimes want to just get out of the house for a while.  It's not just me!  No one has it together.

The section that really spoke to me was about weariness.  "Come near all you who are heavy-laden and I will give you rest".  That is a promise in Scripture.  God knows I'm tired.  He knows that I don't get a lot of sleep or "me time".  It's not a surprise to him that babies are crazy and time-consuming.  He promises to give us REST despite the crazy and the lack of sleep.  I'm so thankful for His Word and how it speaks.  I think me sweetest times of prayer are in the middle of the night when I'm rocking Jordan back to sleep after a bad dream or some tooth pain.  I turn on his "Praise Baby" cd and reflect on the blessing that Jordan is.  I am learning to make the most of my cuddle time because he will be a big kid who doesn't want to snuggle with his mama.  In the blink of an eye, I'll wish I was up at night with baby again.  So, maybe the rest isn't always physical.  It's resting and enjoying the season of life that God has given us.

Happy Father's Day!

 



Weather Awareness

Even if you haven't been 'round here the past few weeks, you've probably heard quite a bit about Oklahoma on the news.  It's been a tragic spring in the Sooner state.  In the past two weeks we have had two F-5 tornadoes in the Oklahoma City metro area.  This is crazy, because usually the entire United States only has one to two F-5 tornadoes a year. 

The first tornado hit Moore on May 20.  Moore is only about five miles to our north and we know a lot of people there.  Many of our church members live just south or just north of the path.  We were fortunate that no family in our church had major damage from the storm.  Twenty four people were killed, including seven third graders at Plaza Towers Elementary.  It was a devastating storm that made it's way through the entire town of Moore.  Blake and I both had opportunities to go clean up people's homes, and it gave us a glimpse at the amazing power of weather.  We are helpless if it comes our way.  All we can do is hide.

The second tornado went through El Reno and Union City on May 31.  While the majority of it's path was in rural areas, it at one point was 2.6 miles wide (!!!!!) and killed 18 people.  The majority of people who died were in cars or drowned while trying to hide from the storm. 

So, in the past few weeks, we have sheltered 5 times and been "weather aware" an additional 2-3 days.  Add that to the clean-up, the FEMA trucks around here, buying supplies for displaced families, and watching the weather for days in advance trying to plan around the storms...we are emotionally exhausted!

I wanted to describe a typical weather aware day.  A perfect day to describe would be this past Friday, May 31.  For several days before, we had heard that it would be bad.  Actually the day before, we had already had to be near shelter.  All morning, you could feel it in the air.  The air is thick and "soupy".  It is still outside, which is rare for our windy state.  I spent the morning going about our normal routine.

At noon, I started really focusing on weather.  I put Jordan down for a nap and while he was sleeping began making preparations around the house.  I packed a bag for Jordan and for us with our most important belongings.  It's kind of weird to walk around and decide what matters most.  For us it is pictures, our Bibles, a change of clothes, important documents, and my mom's jewelry that she left in our safe-keeping.  We also pack plenty of diapers/snacks for Jordan and some of his most cherished toys and books.  If we could, we would pack it all, but storm shelters are by now means spacious.  I also packed our brand new weather radio!

A funny thought that I have on tornado days is how I shouldn't even bother with chores because it is possible that my house might be blown away.  On Friday, I did all the laundry and as I was hanging it up, I thought, "I am going to be so mad if I finish all of the laundry and then my house gets blown away.  That would just be ironic."  Thankfully, that didn't happen....and all my laundry was done.

The weather guys (who are awesome and we trust so much) were saying that storms would be coming towards OKC at 5...firing out west around 4-4:30.  So, Blake came home at 2:30 and I loaded the car and then we just hung around until just before 4.  We left then because we wanted to make the Sonic happy hour, which ended at 4.  We got our half-price drinks and then drove 15 minutes across town to our dear friends' house. 

Our friends have an underground shelter in their garage.  We go there, along with 3-4 other families.  When we arrive, I just go ahead and put our bags in the shelter.  Makes it less hassle to climb down there when the action starts.  Then, we all just hang around and watch tv until the storms pass or we have to shelter.  Sadly, the previous Monday, we didn't have to shelter, but we did watch the storm go through Moore.  It was horrifying to helplessly watch it, thinking about our friends, and wondering how life would go back to normal.

So, back to Friday.  We'd been their so often, that one family brought pizza with them when they came.  Might as well enjoy some food while you sit around.  The storms started firing up right when the weathermen said they would.  For a while, it seemed as if the storms would go north of us.  Then all of a sudden, they turned south, which is really really crazy.  We started to prepare to go down to shelter (shoes, etc) and watched the storm roll in from the north. 

There is no way to describe the feel when the storm is almost there.  All of the air is getting sucked into the storm.  You can watch it grow and get closer, and can sometimes see it spinning.  The women in children usually go down first and wait and the men come in when it's time.  After about 15 minutes, the guys squeezed in and we waited about 15 minutes before we could come out.

When we were down in the shelter, cramped and sweating, we had the radio, satellite on phones, and text messages coming in from families who could watch tv.  It's very confusing because your really don't know what was going on and that night was unusual.  At one point there were six circulations over Norman so every area of Norman was under the gun.  It's also weird to get a text telling you the chasers are in your neighborhood.  Awesome.

When we came out, we were in the clear, with no power.  But the storm was still raging.  We had one more band to come through.  It was high wind and hail, but after being underground we were all content to sit on the porch and watch the show.  We all sat in the dark with flashlights and listened to the radio describe the damage and destruction the storm had brought.

After much debate, we decided to chance going home.  We figured we didn't have power, but after a crazy drive home, we did have power.  We are thankful to be safe and sound and so sad for those who are not.

See why it is so stressful?  Our lives have been revolving around tornadoes for a few weeks.  So, welcome June with your heat and wonderful predictability!